Interview: Dr. Mike has absolutely NO career passions. Unless breaking the rules counts.

I’ve known Mike for years, and I couldn’t wait to interview him so I could dive into his insistence on watching porn at work. He simply doesn’t give a Shit. Now all the pervs out there can feel a little bit better about themselves. You would never think that Mike holds a Ph.D. and has attended some of the country’s best universities. Oh wait, yes you would, those are always the most scandalous people.

Hater:  What is your job title?

Mike: Client Relations Manager

Hater: Why do you hate working in general?

Mike: Being forced to come into work sucks – especially since I can literally do most of my work from home with my laptop, chilling on the couch. Also, working at home sucks because there are too many distractions to focus.

Hater: What do you hate about your current job?

Mike: The same thing I hate about all the jobs I’ve had – I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing. I have a vague idea, but little clarity.

Hater:  Are you passionate about any career out there?

Mike: Absolutely not.

Hater:  If you could slap anyone at work, who would it be and why?

Mike: People who comment about me not coming to work on time or working later hours than most. I mean, who are you? Why are you all in my business random co-worker, or co-worker friend who is about to lose me as a co-worker friend?

Hater: HAHAHA! How do you feel about people who love working?

Mike: They are pretty annoying, similar to people who are always super-optimistic about everything. Why are you so damn happy?

Hater: Ugh! Tell me about it! Are you jealous of people who are passionate about their jobs? If so, why?

Mike: Yes, if I was really passionate about work, I wouldn’t have to spend so much money and time trying to be high in order to forget about work.

Hater: Right. So are you passionate about anything at all?

Mike: Yes. Marijuana and porn.

Hater: Great! This leads right into my next inquiry. You once told me you watched porn at work. Do you really not care that much?

Mike: I am something of a porn connoisseur, so I’ve figured out how to view it without setting off red flags. So I care enough to be clandestine, but not enough to stop doing it.

mike pic

Hater: I don’t think most people expect you to use the word “clandestine” after stating your interest in porn and weed. Anywho, did you watch the porn on your computer at work or phone?

Mike: Computer. I’m not trying to squint at my porn through a phone screen.

Hater: You’re the best!  Why do you normally call out of work? And what do you do when you’re home?

Mike: Luckily, because my job has flexible start and finish times, I don’t usually need to call in. When I do stay home, I generally attend to my passions (listed above).

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s